(Published on Patreon May 19, 2019)
Regularly, and especially lately (see Blog Post oo2), I see a post or a comment. It will be a friend on Facebook, or a group on Facebook. I will sigh. And as I exhale, I will feel a fraction of the essence of my life leave me. I question whether it is worth my time to "get into" it. It is far more likely that this person may not be willing to hear me out, to listen, or to be educated. That someone is going to come along and troll me or shit all over me. It is even more likely someone is just going to trigger me or be outright oppressive and harmful.
And yet, I feel I must. Admittedly, I feel the need to correct someone, or call them in/out. At the same time, I know it is opportunity to educate someone - if even not the person I am directly interacting with, but the bystanders watching. As previously mentioned, I take the approach of reparative and transformative justice. So I will always believe that someone will be willing to listen and/or learn. I will always believe there is a chance, even the slightest.
"Melancholia" Art Credit: Simone Alaine Polo
However, such faith, my Good Faith, comes with a price. That which I have mentioned above, and that I am also far more likely to put in than the other. That it is far more likely going to cost me and not them. That I am going give up a piece of myself for this, with no return, or even with scars. But that all said, I still hold onto my Good Faith.
It is both a blessing and a curse.
I've heard, over the past few years of my most active education and activism, that people don't understand how I do it. How I will spend anywhere from a few hours to two weeks on just one person or on person. How I can be so patient and "eloquent" in the face of such toxicity or harm. The truth is that sometimes, I really don't. Sometimes it does break me. While I have learned to not internalize it as much over the past year or so, I cannot deny the impact of it on me still. To answer these people, who come to me to give me praise or thanks (#humblebrag), I tell them I am just doing what I can, what I should, or trying my best. Because honestly, some of the time, I just do not know how I am doing this. [Insert Me Laughing and Crying Here]
I don't have all the answers, I really don't. I just try to do my best, I want to and I love educating. I confess I also always carry a degree of salt and defensiveness - if only to guard me against internalizing harmful instances and microaggressions (because they are a'plenty). And of course, I am still unlearning and unpacking problematic behaviors and ideologies - I'm only human.Which brings me to this: I will tell you what is not Good Faith, and that is "humanism". It sounds like any of the following:
"We are all equal."
"We are all human."
"We are all the same."
"We start on the same level playing field."
"All Lives Matter"
For those in the know (ie. feminists, social justice warriors, leftists, and/or activists), you already know, see, and understand how and why such rhetoric is not in Good Faith and is, in fact, harmful. However, I will briefly go over such here - with an article to likely come at a later date.
While it is a nice sentiment and thought to believe that we are all equal, and that is all that matters, it simply isn't the case. The reality is that we do not start on the same equal or level playing fields, that not all groups of peoples are the same. What helps one group will not help another. Furthermore, some groups hold inherent privilege over others, thus: womens rights is a legitimate battle versus mens is not, because women are oppressed for being women and men are not oppressed for being men. In the same way, POC (people of color) are oppressed for being racialized (POC), and white people are not oppressed for being white (in a North American context).
And this is why rhetoric of pure equality, same playing field, and All Lives Matter is toxic and harmful. It undermines and invalidates the very real experiences and movements that fight for marginalized and oppressed groups (and peoples). Such "humanism" is flippant, ignorant, invalidating, and undermining. Period. You can't change my mind about it, don't even try.
But. But. I will always try to educate and change anyone's mind who holds this rhetoric or ideologies. Because Good Faith. And honestly, most people who believe in "humanism" have good intentions (where we know impact is greater than intent). But it all. Cycles. Back. Because a lot of the time people who refute "humanism" do not have Good Faith because they uphold some perverse moral superiority and centrism - that anything else is bad. And yet, I will keep trying.